i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
whose ass print is on the piano?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
