i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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