I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
