I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
