i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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