btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize