At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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