she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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