Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
