Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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