So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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