i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
