Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
