1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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