Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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