laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
