Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
