i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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