Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
