my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
