all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
