Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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