We're facebook friends in real life
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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