what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
