New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
