I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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