The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
