Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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