I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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