I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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