please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
