I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
