so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
