The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
