he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
