Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize