After last night, I could never be a politician.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
