the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
