My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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