Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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