I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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