There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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