I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
