if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If I die, sorry about rent.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize