the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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