I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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