Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Randomize