it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You ruined the universe
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize