I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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