whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
