eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
it was like having sex with a tree stump
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
