I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
