oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
