You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
