My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
