ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
