i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
