I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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