There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
