please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
