Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
