brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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