He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
