just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
