sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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