I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need to calm my uterus...
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