umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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