It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
