if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
