I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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