You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
